so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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