Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize