that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
