you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
