Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
