Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
