My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
