Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
