i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
