Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
