pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
