I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
