I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
