hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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