stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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