Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
