I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
