it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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