I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
