well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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