On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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