Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
