I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
