bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
