Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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