we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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