How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
