I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
ok first of all what the fuck
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
