Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
