I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize