Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
