So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
