it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
