I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
