I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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