Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
