im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
