brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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