when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
