Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
