1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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