Christians are straight up FREAKS
youre lurking in front of me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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