Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
