She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
