Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
