did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
