I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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