im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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