i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No subtext here. People are naked.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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