Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
