my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
