so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
