I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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