Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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