I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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