the condom got lost in my hair
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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