They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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