He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woke up backwards on a recliner
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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