I'm lost and stupid without you.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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