That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Houston, we have a blender
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize