Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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